Worst Movies Ever!

Well I was going to have a lovely evening last night watching the Emmy's. We ordered take out and I was watching the horrible show(they went back to 1970's dreck with singing people in bad outfits) and I was beginning to feel a little...oozy. I went to bed and Blammo! I had to rush to the bathroom and for the rest of the night I hugged the toilet...well, er...I sat on the throne and hugged the bucket. Needless to say I will not order shrimp any time soon. My stomach calmed down and my hubby went to the pharmacy and got some gravol and I fell finally to sleep around 7am. I have been trying to sleep but they are working on our street and the whole house is shaking....not fun when your insides have been upturned. I found this new site(well to me that is) and was intrigued because it is about movies. It is http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com/2011/09/worst-movies-ever-blogfest.html -Worst Movies of All Time. I figure I will give my selection and I don't care if people don't agree with me as that is what makes the world go round:) It was hard to pin it down to just 10 because there are so many awful movies out there and some are so bad they are good(think "Plan 9 From Outer Space" or "Dr. Jekyll/Sister Hyde"). So here is my list:

1. Titanic (1997)-Overblown lovey dovey where the 2 keep going back into the ice cold water. The effects were good but take that away and you have the Love Boat sinking. I was expecting Isaac to be serving drinks while Doc pants after Kate Winslet and Gopher scratches his head seeing the iceber come closer. A much better film is "A Night To Remember". Titanic was over-rated, overblown and took away from the actual events for 2 kids in heat...next...

2. Touch Of Evil- This Orson Welles film is almost always on the best list of great films...I don't agree...think Charlton Heston as a Mexican. It is painful and the only thing that I found funny (the film is supposed to be a noir thriller) was Marlene Dietrich(yup I think she plays a gypsy but I have tried to block the memory of this film) looking at Orson Welles and saying in her German accent "You're fat". Poor Orson Welles for living his life backwards (started with Citizen Kane and ended selling wine in commercials).

3. Avatar- Oh looky another James Cameron film. Another overbloated mind numbing flick with great effects...and not much else. take the effects away and I half expect Gene Autry, Roy Rodgers, Randolph Scott or Joel McCrea to come riding up. A basic story of nasty whitemen taking over the land but subsituting Indians with blue beings. Empty flick

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull- Stupid, stupid stupid-he survives a nuclear explosion in a fridge and comes out without a scratch. The wonderful Cate Blanchett decided to do a Natasha accent. I was wondering where Rocky and Bullwinkle were. Beyond stupid

5. In The Bedroom-In boredom is more like it. I actually paid money to see this boring flick. I know it won Oscars and all that but who wants to see Sissy Spacek smoke a cigarette while Tom Wilkonson cuts his hedge. My ex was literally counting the tiles on the ceiling as he found that more interesting.

6. Atonement-Another slow plodding flick that I would rather have my eyeballs scratched than have to see that boring piece of crap again. Great idea but friggen way too long and boring.

7. The Thin Red Line- Yup a war film and I do love war films but again-way too long and I was yawning through it. I know- all star cast yadda yadda but there are many others that are much better and hold my attention and don't beat my head over with "war is Hell" spiel...ughhh

8. The Painted Wagon- I love musicals and the song Maria(pronounced Mar-righ-aaa) I love, but the leads are Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood.....singing! .....singing! They can't sing! It is better to watch Oklahoma, Show Boat or Sound of Mucus oops Music. Sorry I actually do like the Sound of Music....I know I know...:)

9. The Conquerer-I LOVE John Wayne..I Mean I LOVE John Wayne but this movie is his worst. Picture him as Ghingas Khan...enough said. The lines are famous for being bad and can you hear him say this line..."I take this Tar-Tar woman..." The sad thing is they made this movie downwind from a nuclear testing site and all the leads, the director and I think 78 other people from the film production got some form of cancer and most died. Sad end to a F%*(& bad movie.

10. The Greatest Show on Earth- This is the worst film to ever have one a best picture Oscar! If one watched it one might say...it's OK..it has many big stars for the day like Charlton Heston, Cornel Wilde and my fav, Jimmy Stewart but it is so campy and it won against High Noon, The Quiet Man and Singing In The Rain which wasn't even nomintaed! Overblown hype made by Cecil B DeMille...

Dishonourable mentions include Ace Ventura (Turned it off-hate it), The FBI Story, Pope of Grenwich Village...