Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Santa, a Cowboy and a Blond = stupid...for the IWSG


Here is my little story of my youth for the Insecure Writer's Support Group:)

Now this is a tale that leaves one wondering if it actually happened or did I smoke something really funky. 
Many moons ago, I, a fresh faced dumb ass 21 yr old, decided to meet some friends in a downtown bar/restaurant. I was just getting over a very bad case of the flu and decided that I needed to become even more sick by going out and having some fun so I left my brains at the door and decided to do just that. 

There I am at the bar/restaurant with my best friend, her then fiancee and someone else that I can no longer remember or maybe that is the hazy amount of meds, fever and alcohol that permeated my brain, liver and other vital organs, that make me not remember. Doug, the slug, my best friend's former fiancee owned his parent's home and this home was recently in a fire. Now Doug was more upset that his home-made wine in the basement  was in a bad way after said fire than he was upset by the home being in a shambles so he asked all of us to go check out his still. What was I to do? Should I be sensible and call home to get more rest? Puleassseeee! We all sauntered down the street to his shell of a home, went through the yellow tape (yup dumb kid with matches) and went down to the basement to have a taste of his new wine that incurred a smoky palette. Of course, going down rickety stairs  and being under a floor that could possibly give way at any moment was not in our thoughts but rather having a taste of said smoky wine seemed more on our minds. From my state of altered consciousness, I decided the wine was still salvageable and was quite good. Now I was 21, sick, dizzy (see above meds and alcohol) and thought Spumante Bambino was the best wine ever. 

After having said smoky wine and believing we were all going to be the next young adults offered to go to Mensa, my best friend and the man with no name left to go home ( they still had some brain cells lurking in their heads). Doug the Slug and I decided to get back to St. Catharines. How???  We knew better than to drive so we decided to hitchhike. Yup that stupid crazy thing I swore I would never ever do.....well I did with Doug the Slug who weighed in at 55 lbs when wet and had a voice so high it could shatter glass and make Boy George's heart go pitter-patter. So we we started walking...and walking...and walking. Nobody had the sense to pick us up at 1am. I wonder why? Doug the Slug just happened to have his Santa Claus suit on him in his duffel bag and thought nobody will decline Santa Claus. He was wrong! Santa and the dumb ass blond still kept walking. So there I was with a skinny drunken Santa at 2am at a lonely intersection in the middle of no-where-ville and Friday the 13th when a big semi-truck pulls over. Doug..er, Santa opens the door first to see a man saying he will take us. We get in and now it gets more interesting.....

This trucker looks like he would walk like John Wayne, talk like Clint Eastwood, smoke like the Marlboro man but loved to listen to Conway Twitty in French! Yup It was a cowboy trucker from Quebec! He had a big hat on with a cig. hanging from his mouth talking in a Quebequer accent while listening to country twang. He felt sorry for us and brought us all the way to St. Catharines. I finally was home around 3am or so.I was happy that no roof caved in, no Quebec Cowboy turning into Jason, and my flu no worse for wear. 

A couple of weeks later my boyfriend was talking with his friend and his friend mentioned how his dad said, one night after leaving the legion he had seen Santa and some blond hitch-hiking on the road. My boyfriend's friend didn't believe his dad. I naturally said "Oh no that was me". My boyfriend laughed and fell off his chair and his friend just figured of all people it would be me. 

This is lengthy, but hope you liked to read it even if the grammar is not correct. Is this story true?? I shall make you wait.........Yup it is true!!! I really believe I have a guardian angel somewhere with all the things I got myself into, but I guess very few people can say they hitch-hiked with Santa and a Cowboy from Quebec gave them a lift:) 

34 comments:

  1. Your boyfriend's father picked you up - what were the odds. That story was hilarious.

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    1. No the cowboy from Quebec picked us up but my boyfriend's friend's father saw us-hahahaha I know confusing but thank you!

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  2. Oh my god, this is a fantastic story - and I love your side (and snide) commentary on it!! This belongs in a movie!!

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    1. Well Thank you:) I had fun writing it and you all are giving me confidence. If people saw this in a movie they would think it was too far-fetched-hahahaha I can say it is true

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  3. Hahaha! Lovely. Well, perhaps not a lovely experience for you, but it was a terrific read. At least you can look back with a smile, right?

    Loni

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    1. Oh yes! Never good to look back with a frown and it was an interesting night

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  4. This is classic LOL. Love it! So glad you shared it with us. :)

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    1. Thanks so much-glad you enjoyed it

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  5. A story that would only happen to a 21-year-old. We hope. Glad you survived it (and told us all about it).

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    1. Yes we can be pretty dumb and glad I survived too:)

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  6. Loved it; laughed through parts of it; the things we do when we are young!

    betty

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    1. Yes-Amazing what we do and glad you laughed:)

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  7. Funny story! I have a few like this to tell as well, so I know exactly the state of mind you were in and the way these situations escalate into chaos! Glad you survived, no worse for wear.

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    1. I think if one doesn't have some of these stories then life may be dull:) Thankfully we grow up and get a little..er...wiser:)

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  8. I once had a friend who said he picked up a hitchhiker one night. He said he was depressed and didn't really care if he was murdered. It all worked out, but I pointed out there are worse things than being murdered! He was very lucky he picked up a sane person.

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    1. Oh my-poor friend but glad he is OK too and the person was sane.

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  9. Your story was HILARIOUS!! I'm glad you were no worse for wear. Sometimes I think it's a miracle kids ever make it to adulthood. Thanks for sharing! :)

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    1. Nope just sore legs and a story to tell-glad you enjoyed it:) Yes I wonder how we or should I say me-ever made it:)

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  10. BB, will you be my IWSG sponsor? You're my new blogfriend idol, and you take this post straight to laughter: the best cure for insecurities and everything else. I love it, and I'm still laughing!

    The safest way to get free transport in the wee hours of the morn is via a nice, polite Canadian. I'm almost tempted to test this out...Oh my, I'm so glad you found me and joined my clan. I'd be a dumbass not to reciprocate.

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    1. Oh my Goodness! Well Goodness is always in question with me, but thank you for your response:) I am not always funny but this was a funny story:) Thank you again!

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  11. I did laugh, partially because I could hear the French guy's accent so clearly, had a few uncles who talked like that, but then I realized you were lucky to get out alive! Birgit!. Gads. (deep breath) Well, we've all done dumb things, eh.

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    1. That whole night was one big dumb ass thing-hahahaha-Yes I believe I am lucky and have a fun story to tell

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  12. LOL... Skinny Santa, Conway Twitty in French?! What a hoot! I'll have to read it again! LOL
    xxx Asha

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    1. Thanks Asha and glad you had a laugh:)

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  13. LOL! I love this story. It would make a great scene in a play or movie, Birgit. I think our guardian angels worked overtime when we were young. LOL!
    The View from the Top of the Ladder

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    1. Oh gosh yes and I am certain for many here who have kids, they don't know half the story:) I wouldn't want them to either. Thanks that you enjoyed reading this:)

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  14. You know, I never did anything like that when I was young. I don't know if it was good or bad.

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    1. Oh it makes a good story but my feet and legs hurt from all the walking and I am lucky to be around

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  15. It was a better time then, we could pretty much wander around without too much concern. As long as you didn't catch a ride from some random trucker…oh, wait, you did that! =P

    BTW, I didn't spot any errors so maybe my grammar is terrible too. Feel better soon my friend so you can get back to swimming.

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    1. Thanks about the grammar and yes a Quebec cowboy trucker but I was safe as I had my drunken underweight high pitched Santa with me:)

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  16. I loved your story. I too am amazed that I lived through my late teens and early 20s. The only time I ever hitchhiked I ended up being picked up by an ex-boyfriend who was obsessed with me... Late 70's or early 80's, small town in Northern Minnesota.

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    1. Yikes! That must have been a difficult ride for sure

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  17. Haha! Awesome story, Birgit!! So glad you survived the night and are around to share it...makes for a great laugh! And I loved your post title—sounds like the beginnings of a funny joke!

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    1. I never thought of that but it does:) Glad you enjoyed it

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