Wednesday, March 4, 2015
It's that time again to release one's frustrations, fears and insecurities to the world with the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Created by the wonderful Alex J Cavanaugh, this post is held on the first Wednesday of each month to talk about ones' fears regarding writing, publishing and general mahem related to this world of writing. I, of course, have not written any book (yet) but I still love to participate in this adventure and continue to learn from all the authors out there in blog land.
Since I missed writing a little about myself last month, I am now giving a few pointers about myself now. I was born in the ancient city of Anusclaptra. I was the Queen of the cult goddess tittibeaverassum...oops sorry I was finding my inner Shirley MacLaine. Actually I grew up in the country. My parents ran a sawmill business and, to this day, I love the smell of sawdust. I endured school all the way through University and was able to get my psychology degree. Yup Psych as in psycho...not me but some of the profs were on a different plane of existence. I worked at the sawmill business and later found my job as a Credit Counsellor in 1991 and I am still at the same job! This does mean I actually enjoy it:) I suck at math but I am great in budgeting if I do say so myself and as long as I have a calculator I can do my job and do it very well. I also enjoy people...I really do. Most people have had a very difficult time just entering our place never mind discussing their finances. I have seen people who have abused credit but, mostly, they have suffered life events which made it most difficult for them to pay their basic bills and eat. Losing a job (I hate the word restructure), becoming sick, marital breakdown and suffering a business failure are the top 4. I have seen many addictions, lack of education and being taken advantage of. I have seen all walks of people from professors and teachers to people on disability or welfare. Financial hardship knows no boundaries, ethnicity, gender or age.
Now, every once in a while I run across a certain individual where they bring out the worst in me.....I can't stand them. There was one woman (woman??) who was a true horror and no amount of drink would have made her look attractive. Now I am not one to look (well not really true but that is human) at just the physical. I have met people who have been too fat or too thin or have been robbed in the looks dept but they have the beauty of an angel and the outside looks don't matter. This ogre had neither.
People can be set up on a program to pay their debts at a lower payment and often the interest is suspended so, many times, people are placed on our program and then they come in monthly to make their payments. This was also years ago when we took cash (we don't want to now due to robbery etc...). Picture a short, very fat female ogre who makes her home at the local Wal-Mart. Said Ogre always wore a skirt that was see through just so one can see the fire being made by her billowing thighs that rubbed together. The top was almost always white and said ogre never wore a bra. Her hanging weeds of babble were so droopy they touched her waist and they were very lopsided. I am certain no bra was ever made to support those glands from Mordor. Her face would have been perfect for making Halloween cookies-just press that face in dough and Voila! Her yellow teeth were going in several different directions and when her mouth closed one tooth from the bottom protruded out onto her upper lip. Any warthog would have been proud. Her hair shone in the sun because of all the grease buildup that you wouldn't need butter or Pan when cooking because she had enough grease in her hair that she could wring it out.
You think I am done...nope because the Wal-Mart ogre avoided the aisle called "toiletries". Never mind shampoo but I am certain she had no idea what soap or deodorant was. The smell permeated my nostrils that all the little hairs in my nose curled up and died. I would lean towards a window and gasp for some air before continuing to ask her about her expenses. Once, she came in and made a payment in cash, and yes the money was soggy (I am not kidding!), I was doing my best impression of being dead since I was trying not to breathe, when a fellow co-worker was coming down the stairs whistling happily when she suddenly stopped. I saw her nostrils move in that way of "what's that smell" and suddenly she started to dry heave and run to the back of our office. I am not exaggerating one bit!
Now Wal-mart Ogre fit all the physical attributes of a swamp thing but did her personality? I would not be writing this if she had a sweet disposition. She was the nastiest thing this side of the Piggly Wiggly. She would argue every time I asked her a question ("what do you spend on groceries?" "Why do you need to know THAT?"). She would look her nose down at me if I did not answer her fast enough and took her good nature cue from the Wicked Witch of the West. She was "The Horror" . Thankfully she did pay her debts and as she scratched her arm and left bits of dry skin on our counter, she left, never returning. I hope she found her green swamp of Wal-Mart and never bothered anybody again with the odour that still lingers in my nose. To tell you the truth I would rather deal with the guy who gave me $400 all in $20's from his crotch than deal with her. So ends another writing gig from little moi.