Tuesday, May 21, 2019

How to Deal with Difficult Clients-Smells and All-Part 1

As some of you may know, I am a Credit Counsellor and have been with this same non-profit agency for 28 years come May 27th. I know, a long time as the moss on my feet can tell you. Over the years, I have seen many different people with a wide array of debt, not only whom they owe but the amounts. With each client, I have found that I can group them into certain categories that most people do not want to be part of but, in all cases, I must put my best face forward. Of course, I deal with many people who are very sweet, good-natured and smell nice but, for various reasons, have found themselves in a bad way financially. I will not talk about the people who fall into this category...that would be too easy. I have composed a top 10 list of people who fall into the category of ick, blechhh, and general, "OMG, they really do exist!" model. Here are my top 10... er.. 3 the rest will come in the next  few weeks:)

1. Smelly Clients/Smelly and Miserable Clients- Smells you say? Yes and they can vary from, too much polish sausage or curry, need to take a bath because the flies are dying, to the dreaded poo poo or pee pee smell. I wish I could open up a window but, alas, that gift is not in the cards. Most people are polite, if eye tearing, nose dropping off face, smelly, but you can get the person who is as rude as their smell. I had one client who smelled so bad, another counsellor dry heaved and had to run to the washroom. This smelly gal didn't think of wearing a bra even though her boobs were very, very uneven in a strange, hypnotic kind of way. Her 300 lb plus size still did not reveal anything jolly and her hair was so greasy, you could use it to grease a skillet. Yes, she was married (to a sweet, very thin, non smelly man) and she took care of all the finances. What does one do when one has a smelly client?
A.-Get the hose and soap
B.-Suggest they need to up their toiletries to include deodorant and shampoo
C.-Break the glass and gasp for oxygen
D.-Grin and bare it.

Guess what folks? Yes, it's A...no, no, no It's D because, regardless how they smell, it is not your position to suggest anything and, unless you believe they could harm themselves or others, you must put on a brave face, smile and dream of Vick's Vapour rub or a clothes pin. If they are just moody, like, not having their first cup of coffee and are the Incredible Hulk, don't engage in the negativity, just carry on in the best professional manner you can muster. Once they leave, then you can run outside and breathe the fresh air before you go back in, grab the air freshener and de-smell your office.

2. Pee Boys and Girls-You think I am just talking about small babies who decide to dump their load while you are discussing the Visa and Mastercard debt the parents owe but, think again. I had a lovely man in my office, who looked like a worn out skinny Santa who forgot to get the ash out of his ZZ Top beard, who just owed too much and needed to look at bankruptcy. As our session was nearing the end, I thought I could smell the odor of ..pee and, I was right. When he got out of the chair, the wet, dark spot confirmed that he, indeed, peed in my chair. Looking at his jeans was only further confirmation. He did not exhibit any dementia but, the following day, when he came back to see the Bankruptcy Administrator, she forgot to pull the pee chair and, yes, he peed again in her chair. 2 weeks later,  he came by, sat in her chair and did not pee! Unfortunately, he must have peed while walking here because he left his mark on her chair. In case you're counting, dry chairs-0 pee chairs-3. Oh, and yes, he was wearing the same clothes but, this time, the jeans were ripped so one could see his tighty whities..probably yellowy-grey. So, what does one do...

A.- Give him a bag of Depends?
B.- Place plastic down when he comes in?
C.- Spend the money on easy wipe chairs?
D.- Grin and Bare it  but contact an agency that helps at risk individuals?

For people who have peed, like this man I saw, they obviously have health issues so one needs to have compassion (plus some handy wipes and Febreeze). You might still need a clothespin for your nose, but you need to know the other services out in your community that might aid in a client's welfare. In this case, I called "Gatekeepers" which helps at risk individuals (mainly seniors) find the right support services.  By the way, we know someone who is coming in to clean the chairs.

3. Showing their Scars/Colostomy Bags- You think I'm kidding, don't you? Over the years I have found out that people come into our office very nervous and leave much relieved (see above) because we put their mind at ease and don't judge. Many elderly people are in debt when their spouse dies and the income decreases by half (unless the debt is in both names or there is an estate, the person left is not responsible for their partner's debt in Ontario, Canada). Many Elderly are ill with various health issues which often leads to surgery. Now, maybe I have a special gift but many love showing me their surgery scars and some come close to that nether region of YIKES! Once they calm down and we discuss their debt and I learn more about the reasons for the debt issues, they feel so close and warm to me that they must think it's an honour to show me their scar(s) like I am Richard Dryfuss on the Boat with Robert Shaw comparing shark bites. They feel so happy and dooey-eyed as they talk about the length of intestines that had to be cut away or the gall stones that were taken out that they fail to notice the various shades of green on my face. As for the colostomy bags..yup, I have had clients show me this as well and, in one instance, it filled up while he showed me...I am truly blessed. so what does one do?

A.- Shriek in Terror as if one just saw Godzilla?
B.-Throw up on their shoes?
C.-Tickle the scar?
D.-Politely try and stop them before they show their scar/colostomy bag
E.-Grin, make nice and bare it.

Of course I tickle them! I love being up close and personal....ok did you throw up? No, It's D and E sillies. I have now learned when they are ready to show me I try to, very politely, dissuade them from showing me. I have learned not to outright say "No" because I actually hurt the feelings of one lady so I quickly use the art of deflection and they stop grabbing their shirt ready to throw it up (or unzip their pants) to listen to another wonderful tidbit I will give to them about their debt. If I can't stop them in time, Yup, show compassion and ask how they are feeling since the operation and say they are ready to go. Once they leave, go on Pinterest to look up cute animals to get the image out of your head.

So this is part one of my 3 part series on how to deal with difficult people. I thought I would get the smelly people out of the way first:)


28 comments:

  1. Its posts I read like this that make me glad I work at home. May not have a lot of social interaction, but at least its only me I'm smelling most of the time. You all are gems that work for that company. I don't have a sensitive nose and lots of smells escape me but I'm thinking these wouldn't.

    betty

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    1. My sense of smell isn't great but, yes, these permeate. It shows that we, as counsellors and anyone who works with people, must deal with but still in a compassionate manner

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    2. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
      or
      call/whatsapp:+2349057261346










      i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
      or
      call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

      Delete
  2. That is quite an interesting post and I really did enjoy it, maybe because I didn't have to sit with these folks and smell them. I can't imagine the sorts you must get. But I like how you group them. And you made me laugh, sorry, I know you must be letting out some stress or frustration. hugs-Erika

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    1. I meant this as humourous because we need that in our lives but still showcase an understanding to the people that come in

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  3. I have a low tolerance for bad smells and scars. I don't know how you do it. Yikes.

    Although, you might want to invest in some of those plug in air fresheners. Or Scentsy. I know they're invaluable in middle school classrooms. (They all smell. There's always a couple kiddos who haven't gotten the deoderant memo yet.)

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    1. I recall kids who didn't get the memo and I had to sit next to them or one who grew up on a pig farm and must have done the chores before going to school. I can honestly say I love my job

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  4. Hi, Birgit!

    This post is quite a departure for you, dear friend. I needed to double check to make sure which blog I'm on. :) I had no idea you deal with so many difficult clients in general and so many different categories of "difficult." Your tales are shocking, but I know the multiple choice answer always needs to be the one in which you demonstrate tolerance, understanding, compassion and courtesy. When people are down on their luck, especially when they have been down a long time, they live in a state of chronic depression and hopelessness. Things like personal hygiene and modesty no longer matter very much. I don't envy you having to come face to face with such people, but I know you provide a valuable service and help many of them get their lives back on track.

    By the way, I have a brand new tattoo that I'd like to show you. Wait till you see where it's located.

    It's a real beauty
    A Mexican cutie
    How it got here I haven't a clue

    Enjoy the rest of your week, dear friend BB!

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    1. You put it most eloquently because one must demonstrate all these things and truly understand, empathically, where the people are in their lives. I decided to write about my job and I hope, some understand the many people out there who need help in many ways. I think I will pass on the tattoo

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  5. You are a strong woman, Birgit. You have my utmost admiration.

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  6. At least light a bacon scented candle

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaaaa...Yes, well, I do have scented candles but not bacon, and, definitely not sausage

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  7. Hi Birgit - I hadn't realised you worked in that field ... but honestly I'm glad you didn't 'bare' it all here?!?!?! ... poor people though. I'm glad you're helping them ... all the best Hilary

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    1. hahahaaa-No I will not bare it all and many people are often lonely and have no one to talk to which may be why they like to show me their scars/colostomy bags because they usually do live on their own

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  8. I am impressed by your compassion. When debt is overwhelming, people get depressed, When they get depressed, they let their health and hygiene take a back place to insecurity. I applaud you and your sweetness, and for putting a funny face on a very ugly and sad issue.

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    1. Oh my, thank you so much...one needs humour, at times, to help understand what some people deal with which is debt, depression etc... Many people get sick and can't work or they break up with their spouse which leads to financial difficulties. Losing a job is another and it's a big one when many places head to Mexico or China. I'm glad you like my humour angle

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  9. You are one brave soul. It takes a special person to grin and bear it!

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    1. Thank you but I do love my job and that is needed

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  10. I work in a bar and I can relate so much to the smelly customers! Anyways, you have my admiration for putting up with so much!

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    1. Oh yes, the bar would have its own unique take. When someone loves what they do, even the gross parts, one can put all into perspective and still be there for the person

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  11. haha well you have me beat with the pee seat guy. Blah, I'd never ever sit in that chair even if it was cleaned. Soooo glad I have no sense of smell when I hear stories of stinky people. Can walk into anywhere and not smell a thing. Not sure I could grin and bare it with a few people, but probably. Got any full blown nude ones? I'm up to a couple dozen or so by now. Grannies to rich Germans. All have flaunted it all before me haha ugg.

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    1. Yes, well, the chairs are not ones I will sit in...hopefully I remember that. Where do you work? A nudist colony?

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    2. haha I'm a paid peeper, of sorts.

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  12. Yikes! You seem to be getting the worst of the worst, Birgit.:P Thank goodness, your skills and compassion see you through. Congratulations on your upcoming 28th anniversary! It's rare for someone to stay in one job for so long. Despite the smelly episodes, you must really like what you do.

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    1. I actually love what I do because I am helping people even when I tell the. Bankruptcy is the best option, they feel, us7ally, better when leaving my office and that is what it is all about

      Delete
  13. You are such a good person! It’s not quite the same, but working in libraries, especially public ones, provides its fair share of smells and effluents.

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  14. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346










    i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

    ReplyDelete