Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Sadness

It is with great sadness to let you know that my mom died last night around 7:41pm. I was with her and am feeling very lost and stunned (more than usual). I was so hoping she would make it to her 90th birthday on February 10th but she didn’t. I am just so happy that we had her here for Christmas. She was great on Saturday for my brother so he left for Indianapolis on a work trip coming home today. I saw her on Sunday and she was sick but alert. I talked with her and she said “I love you, baby” the way she used to. I was worried so I called at dinner and they told me she was ok but didn’t eat much but had no fever.

The next morning, I called and mom was restless for the night and threw up again but was beginning to settle in. When I called at noon the doctor had seen her and was on prednisone and antibiotics plus they did a swab for the flu. Everything seemed good so my hubby and I went out after work to buy a toilet and bathtub becUse our pipes burst in our bathroom and there’s were major issues so my hubby had to completely gut the bathroom.

I came home, ate and listened to my messages which one was the home. I called and they told me she was not responsive. I went and she was sleeping but I knew she would not wake up. I 5alked with her and even sang thinking she would wake up to tell me to stop. I was texting my work friend to tell them I might not be in checking on her breathing when I saw she had stopped. I called the nurse and she had passed. My mom was my rock, my confidant, and I suffered the loss twice...first when she got the dementia and now her final death. I hope she is with my dad and I hope I get a visit from her in my dreams.  I won’t be posting or even commenting but if I do, it would be just to get my mind off of losing the best mom and a wonderful, spirited lady.

36 comments:

  1. Birgit, I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace in all of your wonderful memories.

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  2. Oh, Birgit, I am so sorry! John and I send our love and sympathies.

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  3. Birgit, I am sorry. Prayers for you. I'm sure she heard you singing.

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  4. Awww, I'm very sorry for you, BIRGIT! But I'm glad you were with her at the time.

    I'll pray for the Peace of God, but I know a loss like this stays with a person until that reunion in the Spiritual realm.

    Try to focus on all the good times and know that this is not the end, but just a "Pause" until you meet again. And when you do, her mind will be perfectly clear.

    ~ D-FensDogG
    Would You Like To... See 'It's A Wonderful Life' Come To Life?

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  5. Dear Birgit - oh I am sorry to read this ... thank you for posting - and we can feel your pain. Mothers are just the best people in the world ... so can feel what you are experiencing ... I'm so glad it was relatively peaceful, she was happy for your brother being there, and you were able to be with her - with those loving words to you ringing forever in your heart. Take care and with lots of thoughts - Hilary

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  6. As I mentioned earlier this morning, I saw this and can only say I know your pain, although my Grandmother never got dementia, which she feared might happen once she got older. Please don't worry about visiting us, because we will be here when you feel better, need to talk, or just need to feel a bit of sympathy.

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  7. Oh, Birgit, my heartfelt condolences. She was a special lady and I know you loved her very much.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Hugs

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  8. Oh, wow, I am so deeply sympathetic in such a time of loss. My own mom died eight years ago just before Christmas, and I'm so glad you had your mom during the holidays. My thoughts are with you.

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  9. Sorry for your loss. I bet she still heard you singing. Hopefully the great times and memories with her can help a little.

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  10. Birgit, I am deeply saddened to read about your mom's death. You made it very clear what a wonderful, special lady she was and how much she meant to you. May you take comfort knowing that her suffering has come to an end and that she is reunited with your dad and other loved ones on the other side. You are left with many wonderful memories to treasure. I'll be thinking about you during my blog break, dear friend. Please take care.

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  11. I'm very sorry for your loss, Birgit. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  12. I am so sorry to hear this, Birgit. Hugs. No words are adequate as consolation for your loss. Sending you love and strength. I feel so unbearably sad.

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  13. Dear Birgit,

    I feel for you, Birgit. Thanks for sharing your mom with us, her life and her death. I like to think that our moms were very happy that we held their hands, talked and sang with them, and simply was there with them as they transitioned from this world into the spiritual one. You're a wonderful daughter and human being. I love you.

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  14. Oh Birgit..the pain and loss of loosing your Mom I share with you...the best love in the world the one person who loves us unconditionally makes the biggest hole when they are gone..I am so glad you were with her and she had your comfort and love when she left you.I am thinking of you and sending hugs xxxx

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  15. I read this post because I saw your mom's smiling face in the photo and it reminded me of my grandmother. That you got to be there on her last day is precious. May love and peace surround you in your time of need. - susan

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  16. I'm so sorry for your loss, Birgit.

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  17. This is so very sad...
    We lost my father-in-law on Christmas Eve. He was 89 so it wasn't unexpected, but it was still a punch in the gut.
    I am so sorry for your your loss.

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  18. Birgit you have my sympathy truly.

    My father passed away on the 14th of December after an extended illness, though fortunately with minimal pain, and the sense of loss is profound.

    We were lucky enough to celebrate an early Christmas, which we do yearly...so much easier for the kids and their families to all attend...and Dad was in decent shape and able to be with us. Right after that he started his decline and left us quickly and quietly. It's hard but you have to focus on all the happy times you've shared and be content in the knowledge that their struggles have come to an end. I also like to think that he-people person that he was-is up there having a high old time with all his friends and family who went before.

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  19. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs and lots of love, Birgit.

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  20. Just stopped by to let you know I'm thinking of you.
    Hugs

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  21. My condolences, Birgit. I have also had the experience of losing my mother twice, so I understand how you must be feeling. Take care. xx

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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  22. Birgit, I saw your post over at another blog, re: being sad, and feared this was the reason. I am so very sorry to learn of your loss. And you are right, it is a 2nd loss, when the dementia is involved. I'm happy that you have the consolation of knowing you got to spend a last good Christmas with her, and it will take a time for the sadness to go away. My Dad had dementia the last years of his life, so I understand what you mean about the double loss. At least you can perhaps feel your sweet Mom has been released from the 'prison' she'd been in...that thought comforted me when my Dad left us. I know he's with my Mom, they are young again, and not dealing with all the suffering they had in their last years on this earth. Truly, your Mom never leaves you...I hope that will help later on, after the first heartbreak eases a small bit. Big hugs & God bless.

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  23. Honey, it's a tremendous loss. I'm so very sorry. I know the shock, the pain, sadness, anger...all of it. In time, you somehow find a way to carry your Mommy with you everywhere you go, every moment. Be gentle with yourself. Much love to you.

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  24. I can see the resemblance between you and your mom.
    I'm thinking of you, Birgit.
    Hugs

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  25. I am so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you were there with her. I wish that we could all be there for you now, in your sadness.

    Incidentally, my sweet, cherubic nephew shares your mother's birthday. I'll put another candle on his cake so he can blow one out for her.

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  26. Blessings to you, dear Birgit. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Sending hugs and love your way. God bless you!

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  27. Birgit, I am sooo very sorry to hear of the passing of your Mom. Your post made me cry. I can't imagine what you've been through, especially in losing her twice. But hopefully you feel comforted that you were there when she took her last breath. And I believe she knew you were there and because of that she felt safe to let go.
    Truly, my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry. I'm caring for my Mom now. She recently moved here in July after my Dad passed. She had tried to do it on her own in N Carolina but she called me in May and said she was ready to move to Austin to be close to me. It's heartbreaking to watch the decline in health. So I know.

    I'm glad you all had her for Christmas and that your brother was able to see her. That's a blessing. I imagine that your Dad was there to greet her when she arrived and that they'll continue to be together and care for one another until all the rest of you are together again one of these days. And I believe that their spirits are with you always.

    You have my deepest sympathies Birgit. I hope you are taking good care of yourself. Will look forward to your return.
    Sending you a big hug and will be keeping you in my thoughts.

    Michele at Angels Bark

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  29. Sending hugs. I am glad you were able to be with her. It is so hard to lose someone so important to us. Hugs!
    ~Jess

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