Thursday Movie Picks-Once Is Enough

Wandering Through The Shelves can really pick great themes and this week it is all about movies you hope to never see again because once is enough. There are many I could choose here but I picked 4 because 3 just was not enough and I know 2 of them will be controversial.

1. SIESTA-1987

ZZzzzzzzz. We actually rented this movie back in the day thinking it would be good since it starred Ellen Barkin, Gabriel Byrne, Martin Sheen, Isabella Rossellini  and Jodie Foster but this was a mess. It is badly acted and you are constantly saying WTF?? Ellen is supposed to be this stunt woman who is to jump from a plane into a fake volcano. You realize this jump will kill her and she might have thought so as well so she decides to venture to Spain to meet up with her lover. She meets up with him and I think there is some heated sex scenes and mystery but the movie is so stupid that I can't even remember the good stuff. Horrible...

2. WILD ORCHID-1989

This is a film that we also rented and we had a great time laughing at how bad it really is. This chick, Carre Otis-yup never heard of her...I wonder why, plays ..wait for it...a lawyer...hahahaaaaaa. OK I got that laugh out of the way, anyway she has to go to Rio to meet up with the firm's top exec..oh blast who cares, She meets Mickey Roarke before he really turned ugly and creepy (here he is just a bit ugly and still creepy) and is attracted to him. They end up meeting a German couple and this German couple have sex in the limo as the other 2 watch-this scene is funny because it's about Germans being passionate..sorry no,..well, yes. Anyway the chipmunk noises are funny. Later on, in the movie, Carre is running to Mickey Mouse..sorry, just Mickey, they cut to a different scene and when they cut back, she is still running...they cut back and forth 3 times! I was wondering where John Cleese as Lancelot was (people will know what I am referring to if they ever saw Monty Python and The Holy Grail). This movie got some notoriety because it claimed Roarke and Otis really had sex while filming. Bleccchhhh, the only thing I recall from their so-called sex scene is when he tore her entire dress off in one fell swoop.

3. IN BOREDOM..OOPS I meant, IN THE BEDROOM-2001

5 of us went out in a snow storm to see this film..a snow storm(!) because we heard raves about this film and still do. It sounds interesting-a married couple are concerned about their son's relationship with an older woman who has a child. You realize the son and the woman (played by Marisa Tomei) do love each other to the point where he defends her from her scumbag ex. The ex kills the son and because the ex comes from money, seems to be getting away with it. The woman must deal with the loss as well as the parents, played by Tom Wilkinson and Sissy Spacek. You are witness to the long married couple's marriage failing. as all are trying to cope with the loss. Now this sounds excellent doesn't it? When I was sitting there thinking, "Am I the only one thinking this is the slowest yawnfest I have seen in my life?", I look to my right and see 2 of my friends talking and raising their eyes up pointing to the screen. My other friend right next to me is slumped way down in his seat squirming to stay awake and my ex is looking up at the ceiling. All the 2 married couple do is give very short answers and you see him mow the lawn or cut the hedge and Sissy just starts smoking up a storm. The biggest 2 events are when Sissy slaps Marisa and when Sissy and Tom finally start yelling at each other only to be interrupted by girl scouts selling cookies. If I want to see someone smoke or mow the lawn I will look outside during summer time. By the way, My ex was counting the ceiling tiles.

4. A BOREMENT.. ughh I did it again, I meant ATONEMENT-2007

I will get a lot of flack from these last 2 but it's what I think so here is my last. Atonement is considered one of the best films in recent years and it stars Keira Knightly, James McAvoy and Saoise Ronan but I think it is an over-rated yawn of a movie. I have not read the book and believe the book would be much, much better. Keira and Saoise come from a upper class English family and James is the son of one of the worker's. He is in love with Keira and she with him and poor little Saoise has a big crush on him. Well, due to the nasty jealosy of the little brat, he is sent to jail and is separated from his great love. 4 years later, he can leave prison as long as he joins the army which he does. You are witness to war and heartache and you find out why the young brat, now a celebrated novelist, must atone for her big sin. I liked the ending..in more ways than one, but I couldn't care less about the characters and found scenes very long and drawn out and I didn't believe in the chemistry between the 2 romantic leads. This time, no snow storm but the same people. The 2 were slumped in their chairs  becoming very irritated. My dear friend was catching flies and my ex was trying to stay awake. I caught some flies and I think I snored a bit.....

Which films would you say once is enough?