first, to all my blog friends who live in or near the path of Hurricane Irma, stay safe and hope you and you family are well.
I don't have our computer hooked up at home yet since my hubby did another debacle so I have no Thursday Movie Picks this week but will show it next week when I am back at work. Yes, I have been downloading YouTube videos etc... from work since blog land is not compatible with my tablet.
The reason...I have pneumonia. It has been shit since I came back from vacation because everyone was off due to vacation or illness which left me to do all the counselling, bankruptcy and other stuff at work. I think it is now my turn and I was told by my dr to stay home and rest. I don't think it is severe which is good but it is enough to piss me off.
So the third crappola shitfest aside from work and illness is my mom....she is dying. She was in the hospital with pneumonia about 3 weeks ago and I thought things turned out well as she was back in Heidehof 4 days later. The sad news is she is going down hill. It could be weeks...or months but I have this gut feeling she will not make it to Christmas. Last Thursday, my brother met with the Dr and others and I was on speaker phone since I was sick. The dr. explained that she has permanent pneumonia in her lower right lung( weird as this is where mine is). Her lungs look like bubbles under a microscope and they have actually decreased in size. They are literally disintegrating which puts more pressure on her heart. Her heart has an arrhythmia and also not in the best shape. She is eating less and is in bed more. If the Drs would try to place pressure on her heart( if her heart stopped), they would break all her ribs. If they did revive her she would be on a permanent breathing machine and a feeding tube and this would not be right for my mom. Quality of life, in whatever shape or form, is what she deserves now. My hubby has visited her but, the rye bread with German salami I made for her, she had no wish to eat. Oh, I instructed my hubby how to make her sandwich, I didn't touch it.
So, I am pissed and really, really upset that I can't visit my mom. When she needs me, I'm not there and can't be until I am 100% better. I wish I had fun News but there it is. I do have strange news though. When my brother was visiting her, she asked him who the lady was standing by her bed. He looked around and saw no one. A little bit later, she asked what that blue light was by her closet, again, my brother saw nothing. My mom never saw anything weird the whole time she has been ill with the dementia so I leave that thought with you.
I'm so sorry about your mom :( That sounds awful. I hope you have a speedy recovery yourself so that you can visit her sooner.ReplyDelete
That is weird for her to see, never know.ReplyDelete
Stinks all the way around at your sea. Hopefully your health woes get on the upswing so you can be there for her.
I'm sorry. She knows you are there in love and spirit. When you are better, you will spend time with her. Sounds like you already were...ReplyDelete
Oh Birgit, really sorry on all counts. Get well soon, and hope your mom is not in too much pain.ReplyDelete
Oh Birgit what a hard time for you...being ill and knowing your mother is deteriorating...I hope you are well enough to spend time with her soon....keep strong as what will be will be....sending a hug xxxxxxReplyDelete
So sorry. As frustrating as it is to lay in bed now, rest and get better so you can be with her.ReplyDelete
Gosh I am so terrible sorry to read all this. I know you realized this could happen to your mother given her age and medical history. Even so, this is certainly a painful time for you, especially since you are too ill to visit her. I'm sure she understands your dilemma. I will pray for your mother to bounce back once again and also pray for you to soon recover from your bout with pneumonia. Thank you very much for the well wishes regarding hurricane Irma.
God bless, dear friend!
Oh, Birgit, I am so sorry. What a horrific blow.ReplyDelete
Wishing you a swift recovery, and your mom peace and happiness.
Oh Birgit. I am so so sorry you have to go through this ordeal while you are sick. Rest and get better and pray for the best.ReplyDelete
I hope your bad fortunes reverse soonReplyDelete
This is horrible news, Birgit. I am SO sorry to read about your pneumonia, as well as your mother's, too. Maybe the blue light is you in spirit. I hope things improve for both you and your mother soon, although I fear she may have given up. I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers until we hear from you again.ReplyDelete
Awful news, BIRGIT. I will pray for your Mom. You are there with her in the Spirit of Love, and I hope you get better real soon so you can be there with her physically, too.ReplyDelete
So sorry to hear you've been suffering with pneumonia. And I'm also sorry about your Mom. I lost my own mother last Christmas Eve.ReplyDelete
I hope you feel better soon. Hope it doesn't get too bad for your mother before she dies.ReplyDelete
I'll go with three Canadian films:
Chloe - Julianne Moore
Dead Ringers - Jeremy Irons
Existenz - Jennifer Jason Leigh
I'm so sorry for your illness and your mom's. I hope she passes peacefully. (Terrible thing to wish, but it sounds like this is the best.) And perhaps your illness is telling you you need to take time for you and rest. I hope you feel better soon.ReplyDelete
I am so sorry about your mom; its so hard to lose them. They loved us first and oftentimes so unconditionally. The night before my mom passed (little background, she has been in the hospital for about a week at that point with fungal pneumonia and the doctors said it was a matter of days with her passing) she was the most lucid she had been during the hospitalization and enjoyed the visit with my sister and my niece. My sister said my mom's eyes were really clear and she kept looking beyond the people in the room as if she was looking at someone else. I have my theory who she was seeing based on my faith. She slipped into a coma later that night and we all decided to withhold treatment the following day. So I'm not discounting anything your mom has been seeing.ReplyDelete
I do hope you get better so you can get to see her and be able to say good bye or something similar. Long story, but I didn't see my mom before she passed (biggest regret of my life). Is it possible to see her wearing gloves and a mask (you wearing them?)
Oh, Birgit, I feel for you. I wonder if you're having pneumonia because your Mom has it. The Husband was having the same pains when his father was in his last year. Your mom may be having what doctors call hallucinations which are common as we get near death. I prefer calling them deathbed visions because I think they are real. The Mama had them. They were not scary once I figured out what was going on.ReplyDelete
Please try not to get into a fret that you aren't physically with Mom now. I hope you both get well enough that you two can see each other at least one more time. I'm channeling big hugs with much love to you both.
I'm sorry you're so sick and I HATE like crazy that your mother isn't doing well. I pray you get well soon so you can visit her. I know how frustrating this is for you. I also pray for your mom's last days ever how many they may be only God knows. I'm sending great big hugs your way and loads of prayers. Find peace and strength in God's arms, my friend. Blessings to you, dearie!
I am sorry about you being sick and your mom dying. I hope you get well soon so you can go see her. When my husband's grandmother was dying she saw her siblings that had gone before her.ReplyDelete
Sorry you are going through such a tumultuous time now Birgit. My thoughts are with you.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry, Birgit.ReplyDelete
Sorry that you've been ill, and I'm also very sorry about your mom's condition.ReplyDelete
I can't help but be reminded of my own mother's last couple of months. In her final years, her hearing was almost gone, it was difficult for her to walk, she'd become legally blind... She finally decided it would be best to give up her small apartment. Both my sister Kathy and I said she could move in with either of us, but my mother opted instead to move into a nursing home. She moved into one on her 92nd birthday, October 20, 2009. During the next two months, her swallowing reflex failed her and she wound up with pneumonia twice. Kathy and I were told that the doctors could give her a feeding tube, but we agreed that my mother never would have gone for that. At one point, my mother asked me outright, "Should I even keep trying?" I replied, "I can't answer that. Only you can." I mean, what could I have said? "No, Mom, give up and die," or maybe "Yes, keep fighting to go on living no matter how much you end up suffering, because Kathy and I are selfish and don't want you to leave us."
On the 19th of December, I visited my mother in the nursing home. While I was still there, my cousin Joe, who hadn't seen my mother for years, showed up, and he was still there when I left. Before he left, my sister showed up for a visit. After Joe left, my mother told Kathy to "tell David I can't go on like this." My sister refused to give me that message, but my mother told her a second time.
Early the next morning, December 20th, two months to the day after my mom's 92nd birthday, she died. Five days before Christmas. The timing kinda sucked, but my sister and I console ourselves with the fact that my mom seems to have made her own decision to "let go." I hope you'll find a good way to process whatever happens with your own mother.
Thinking of you...
I am so deeply sorry to hear about your mom. I wish I could say something more or better than that. I am praying for your health and for your mom.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry, Birgit. I'll certainly pray! Interesting the lady your mother saw and the blue light. I think my mother would relate to this (and she doesn't have dementia). She swears she's been visited by angels more than once, and has told of these encounters over the years.ReplyDelete
Hi Birgit - sorry to read you're ill and not in a position to visit your mother ... let's hope you improve soon - and you'll be able to be with her. Take care and know that the family are doing the best for her ... those people and lights - my mother experienced them ... she did live on for a while - but a different scenario - she didn't have pneumonia. The most important thing now is take care of yourself (don't go back to work early!) ... all the best and with thoughts - HilaryReplyDelete
Oh sweetie I'm so sorry to hear this. Big news.ReplyDelete
So sorry to hear that not only are you sick, but your mom's illness is so serious now. A worrying time for all of you. I wish you and your family all the best. Get better soon Birgit.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry about your mom :( I've gone through something similar with my grandfather and it was terrible. I hope you get better soon and get to spend more time with her.ReplyDelete
So sorry to hear about all these. I hope you and the fam are much better now while you're reading this. Hugs!ReplyDelete
I am so sorry, Birgit. Best wishes to you and your family.ReplyDelete
I want to truly and deeply thank you for all of your beautiful comments. This has helped me immensely. I am slowly feeling better so I think the antibiotics are working. I am still very weak and am surprised by that but I was able to go out briefly yesterday and more today. I do plan to go back to work on Monday so I hope I can get through the day. My mom is not eating much or drinking much. She is sleeping quite a bit. I am in contact every day with the home and they are letting me know how she is doing. I think many, on the floor, are really hoping she will get better but I doubt it. I am hoping that I can see her Monday and will ask the home if I can come to see her. Keep your fingers crossed.ReplyDelete
all the best and with thoughts - HilaryReplyDelete
Interesting to read, thank you I really like your article. I love your beautiful blog and enjoy your post. Good workReplyDelete
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