Thursday, August 7, 2025

Bad Relationships

 


I talked about bad relationships yesterday and decided to extend this to my film day. I hear about bad relationships just about every day, sadly, which is one of the main reasons people end up in financial hardship. My best friend went through an emotional and mentally abusive relationship with a classic narcissist and another dear friend, now, is going through a separation with a man who has narcissistic tendencies but shows more emotional avoidance personality. In both cases, it’s their wife’s fault, never them. Men have been abused as well because women can also be narcissistic as well. I’m surprised how many narcissists are out there, to be honest. I’m showcasing 3 films that came into my head and there are so many more that I could do this theme a few more times…

1. OF HUMAN BONDAGE-1934


The book is excellent and so is this early film that made a star out of Betty Davis playing the guttersnipe waitress that a young medical student, Leslie Howard, falls for. He has a club foot, who has been bullied for most of his life so when he meets this waitress he becomes enchanted with her, although you wonder why? She’s not a beauty, she is slutty and rude but he falls for her and she berates, bullies and is just a downright bitch to him but he can’t let her go. I know of a couple of men who have fallen for women tht I just think…what the Fu$@!? Bette actively campaigned for this role an, finally Jack Warner ( who would be sitting right beside Harvey Weinstein if he were alive today)  relented believing she would suck in the role..boy was he wrong! When she was not nominated, for the Oscar, due to Jack Warner’s interference, there was a huge write in campaign which got Bette the nomination( she didn’t win). Leslie Howard was a bit too old for the role of the medical student but he acted very well as the man who could not shake this woman even when he meets a lovely woman who treats him with the respect he deserves. It’s a worthy film and should be seen.

2. BORN YESTERDAY-1950


This comedy made a star out of Judy Holiday, and rightly so. She was in the Broadway version so she knew this character very well and won an Oscar for her portrayal of a “dumb” mistress of a loudmouth, narcissistic jerk who happens to be rich( remind you of anyone) Whois buying his way into politics. To keep his mistress out of his hair and give her some class, he hires a professor, played by William Holden, to teach her about literature, history, art and culture which she takes to like I take to anything chocolate or desserts. The more she learns, the more she sees what a jerk her boyfriend is. Broderick Crawford plays the lout and he is superb portraying this idiot that we underestimate, until we see how brutal he can be when he forces her to sign a form she refuses to. In a comedy, you don’t expect such a nasty scene, yet it is there and your heart goes out to her when she wants to do the right thing. It is well acted and captivating which is why I rewatched it again recently.

3. LOLITA-1962


This is a controversial film even by today’s standards directed by the great Stanley Kubrick, starring James Mason as a professor who marries a loudmouth woman, played by Shelly Winters, just to be close to her 12 yr old daughter, played by 13 yr old Sue Lyon. When Shelly read Mason’s diary finding out what he thinks of her and what he feels for her daughter which is not fatherly. Poor Shelly runs in front of a truck leaving James and Sue to behave, well, not in a father/daughter  way. When Peter Sellers enters the scene who has his own desires on little Sue, well, it seems to go from bad to worse. Now, you think that the Mason character as well as Sellers, to be the nasty men taking advantage of this poor girl, but who is being abused here? Sellers’ character is not very nice at all and Mason’s character is a complete jerk to Winters who is totally repulsed by her but marries her just to be close to the daughter creating sympathy for Winters. The person whom you feel the least sympathy for is the young Lolita who knows exactly what she is doing and leaves Mason distraught when she takes off on him, more than once. It is  a controversial film, even by today’s standards, but it is excellent. I just watched this film, about a month ago and, even though I won’t see it my time soon, it is a film worth seeing.

What films can you think of that meets this theme?

1 comment:

  1. Can't think of one with a narcissist but since I recently rewatched Tombstone, I'll go with that film. Wyatt Earp's wife was a mess.

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