The Monday Minute

I am trying to place the little Yoda Image here by Copying and pasting but it's not working for me-Whaaaah): This is done by www.thedailydoseofreality.com. The theme is from music lyrics, so here it goes...

1. Do you hear what I hear?

What?....Pardon??? I don't understand what you are saying??? Whaaatt?

2. How will I know if he really loves me?

When he starts dressing in his old worn out t-shirt and shorts, pants that should be burned years ago. He stops shaving for 3 or so days and the ultimate "I Love you"...when he is sitting on the couch beside you and he leans over to fart and has the look of victory as if he just conquered Mount Everest.

3. Have you ever really love a woman?

My mom and my best friends...does my dear friend who is gay count? And please don't even go there about loving a woman in a porn, nude wrestling in pudding kind of way even though most men probably fantasize about this. What is it about you guys and women with women??? Ick

4. Is this the real Life?

As real as we make it unless we believe in Descartes, Nietzsche and all the other philosophers who made their lives wondering about existence and to simply Be. Also if you place tin foil on your head, travel to Roswell in a 1968 van wearing a dirty t-shirt and bright striped pants thinking that aliens will take you to their mother ship and hearing those 5 simple notes from that Spielburg flick and praying to David Duchovney (X-Files) as the next Uber God then Yes i guess it is as real as one makes it.

5. Is this just fantasy?

On which plane of existence?? Wait I hear the mother ship approaching....can't write anymore I have to put my tinfoil hat on. See ya in 12 million parsecs

Monday Minute

I was informed by the ever wonderful and fun Marlene that the Monday Minute is back...Yippeee! You can find it at www.thedailydoseofreality.com. At least I am doing this...soon cards(I am dreaming some up). OK so here it goes...

1. Since so many of you were so willing to wrestle naked with another member of the same sex for a million dollars, let's say we double it to 2 million and put it on PPV for all to see. Still willing?

I did not get to last week's questions but I will say yes to wrestling naked (I must be having a few drinks in me to get it started). For 2 million...tax free dollars...what the hell! I know though that would be the end of PPV since most would be tuning out from the horrendous vision they saw and they would be looking for pokers to flick out their eyeballs but I would get 2 million bucks:) I wonder how many men would do this? I bet ya more women would...we just have more guts!

2. You just found $100 bill on the ground while walking around your neighbourhood. What's your first thought to do with the money?

I should say I would give it to a poor person or knock on doors and ask if they lost anything but NOPE! My first thought would be Yippee! I would be swinging my hips(maybe to get the chocolate pudding off from my nude wrestling as I have low morals it seems) and singing I'm in the money! I would look around and then scamper off believing I had a great day. I should hang my head low...but I am not-I dream of finding this. All I have ever found aside from pennies is a quarter and I felt great finding that. Now if I should ever finding a black box with a singing frog who carries a cane and top hat, I think I would just go to the nearest kitchen and have some frog legs...he is an evil little frog isn't he (All you Warner brothers' cartoon fans out there)

3. Mother's Day is coming up. Name one thing you learned from your mother that you'd like to share.

My mom has/had immense compassion and would always be there for you even at 3 in the morning if you needed her. She rarely questioned, always kept secrets and forgiveness is/was her middle name. She is fading before my eyes right now and, at times, my patience has run thin but I still see her compassion come out and her forgiveness despite the horrible dementia. I just hope I can give to her what she has always given to me. She is beautiful

4. We all know that Knickelback, Kiss, Creed, Rush, Foo Fighters and Axl Rose suck Ass, name another band that should be added to this famed list.

I like Knickelback! I don't even mind Kiss although I would never even think of kissing those guys...yuck, yuck! I always hated Rush and find that guy's voice like fingernails on chalkboard. I have to pick another? It's Monday morning and I am lucky to figure out which foot goes in front of the other. Those boy bands suck big time...NSync and ughh I can't remember the other one-that's how memorable they are to me. Maybe I have a great way to get rid of the bad out of my head? Oh let's add Twisted Sister to this shall we.

5. Have you ever had a zit on your ass?

I can not believe this question, well I never...oh who am I kidding since I would wrestle naked in chocolate pudding for 2M tax free for PPV. Yes I have! Sometimes hard to sit on that too. I was just thankful it was never on my face!

Have to Beef!/Whine and Blah Blah!

Ok Yup...no card....wahhhhhhhhhhh! I really miss my card making. I hope soon i can get back into it. In a nutshell the last 2 weeks of March and April have been sheer hell. My mother got the shingles. From what I have heard (and thankfully, so far, never had) it is very painful. Now have a mother who always need to be in control, have dementia, be in extreme pain and her daughter have to take over her tylenol...well can we say it has been a freak out and I don't mean the dancing kind. She is now down to 86 lbs(not good), she has been ornery, telling me and me and my spouse ( is that correct grammar??) we are abusive and liars and want to control her and have power over her(yes that is our main goal...WTF?). My poor mom was popping way too many tylenols because she could no longer remember. Now with the shingles-she got the anti viral meds, she has been on some heavy major drugs and youy would think that would keep an elephant down...nope not my little 83 yr old German mom. She was coming down the stairs on the hour in the middle of the night demanding her tylenol and crying and just being an ornery cuss. We made 2 trips to the emergency in 1 week and in both cases she was sent home. We were really hoping she would be admitted to get some help and for us to get some relief. As a result I got really ill and missed most of the week at work and could not look after my mommy. My Michael came through for me and has been a Godsend. She is on a sleeping pill now and long lastsing pain meds and even the tylenol 3 when needed. We also give her an anxiety pill which seems to calm her down and now we can sleep at night. The nuses have come by and the geriatric social worker came by for an assessment. Of course she was on her best behaviour and even passed the memory test....I could have killed her! It reminded me of when you hear a knock in your car engine and you know something really wrong is with your car but when you bring it to the mechanic there is no knock and he says it is fine...grrrr! The good news is he did see there were issues and so a team will be coming May 24th to do an assessment and hopefully she will get on the right meds to calm her down. The shingles is healing but the pain is still there but I think it is improving. I can't tell right now how much is pain, control and addiction. On another uplifting note..we had a mjor wind storm rip through our area last Thursday. Our power was out for 34 hours. It ripped off alot of our shingles and blasted out a window. Actaully the good news is we get a new roof. I believe we fared better than many people who had trees come down right through their house. One man died when he got hit by his garage door that came off its hinges. It was awful and i heard there are still some people without power now. On saturday we had a major drunk a^*%$ hit michael's parked car! I witnessed it and ran after the car (he was driving very slowly just so you know I am not some Angelina Jolie character...I can dream on). I was banging on his window to stop and he did! I told him to put his F*&%^$ winow down and he did! By that point my Michael and 2 neighbours came out and tried to get him out of the car but they said he was literally greasy (Ick). They tried to get his keys and could not. He did get away but not before someone got his lisence plate # and I called 911. The police got him up the street. he resisted arrest and they had to bash in his window. Apparantly he hit another person's car and he has had prior and his license was taken away. I hope May is better! I will end on a positive note...My mom is slowly getting better with the shingles, the geriatric Assessment Team is finally coming and hopefully with proper meds. We will get a new roof and window and we stoppped someone from probably killing someone due to his drunkeness. I hope to have cards up here soon. It is always better to walk with an agnel through hell than with the devil through paradise:)

Buttons and Bows

This is my unique persepctive for Easter...no bunnies, religious, eggs or chicks (well maybe Jane) but it is meant for my friend for Easter since she is also a big film buff. This is for 2 challeneges:

http://flutterbywednesdays.blogspot.com/2011/03/flutter-by-wednesday-148.html -Buttons and Bows

http://abcdtchallenge.blogspot.com/2011/04/easter-card-challenge.html - Easter

OK I really hope this will past for my unique way for Easter! I had initially read the challenge at Fluuter by Wednesday to use Buttons and bows which actually are 2 of my least favourite since I am not a button gal (looks great on other peoples' cards but when I do it , I just don't like it) and bows...'cos I suck at making them. I was inspired suddenly by the song "Buttons and Bows"...

"East is East and West is West

And the wrong one I have chose

Let's go where they keep on wearin'

Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows

Rings and things and buttons and bows..."

The song continues (by Livingston and Evans) and it won the Oscar for best song. It was in the movie "The Paleface" by Bob Hope and Jane Russell. I thought it perfect since we lost a legend(not just Elizabeth Taylor) this year when Jane Russell passed away. This is a very funny film with her and Bob Hope. I have books by the Great Al Hirschfeld. I LOVE his artistry. He could create the essence of a famous person with a flick of his pen. I did not trace! I looked at the picture (there was a whole scene in the picture but I just chose these 2 images) and then started to draw. Iused my tombow markers to fill in and then mounted it on different cardstock, added the butterfly, bows and buttons! Have a great day!

Monday Minute!

1. Where do you get your pizza from?

get ready for it......We don't eat pizza! Too much starch and sugar and it whacks out my blood sugar(hypoglycemic..fun, fun, fun). Now we used to get it from Pizza, Pizza many,many, many, many moons ago...You know the jingle "967-11 11 call Pizza, Pizza Hey, e hey hey". My hubby tried to make pizza once. It is best I show you...OK The picture showed above but you get the look of it. My hubby wanted to surprize me...he did. We had a good laugh and then it went into the big trashcan in the sky. Yes we both tried it...so did my dog katie, just a bite though because she eats anything...except this:)

2. How do you define your decorating style?

Right now? Shabby Shit! This is because I have mostly old furniture. No not antiques but furniture that were my parents and they gave it to me. My couch in my TV room has been reapholstered(I am not looking up the spelling but you get the idea) but it is from 1960. The 2 chairs in my library...1960. My other chair-$25 garage sale. My dining set-$50 from house sale. We did finally buy a bed! A brand new bed last year because we were hurting so much when we woke up we realize the bed we had was actually used in the middle ages for torture. This is due to me being cheap. Yes, cheap. When I do buy I will get top notch but it will take time. I can also say that life does sneek up and bite you on the butt over time, meaning cash was sparse. If given the choice to buy a new couch or go to Europe, Europe would win out every time. I do like the old world style. I love the washed walls one sees in Tuscany. I do love fairy tales and so I have unicorns and make believe in my kitchen. I do not think it is done kitschy either. Yes I do have a library-all walls are covered in books and I have a dark cherry wood for bookshelevs(no not real-Ikea style and that is new too). I would never, ever paint over wood-that is criminal unless the wood is crap or made cheap for painting. I do not like modern, I dislike a throw up of floral. You've seen them in magazines-every couch, chair and drapery has different floral-It's like Mary Poppins in hell. I love colour and I hate wall paper! I would never own a white couch, I don't care how stain resistant they tell you it is, if one has kids or men, it just won't work. I actually say if you want to have disco fever for your place, do it-make it your own! I love comfort to, so I love it when I can enter a home, looks beautiful but you feel you can walk around it. Nothing is worse than having a place where you need to float around the room and when you sit, you have to sit on the edge for fear your butt will leave the ass look on the chair/couch. OK that's it for now:))

3. Where do you regularly buy your clothes?

It's called SALE! I am not a regular clothes buyer...at least I don't think so. That does not mean I do not love clothes...I do, but I have to be in the mood. I can say There is a place called Giant Tiger. They sell clothes, food, knick knacks etc... Their clothes are actually great. We call it the G.T. Boutique!(I think my friend Marni coined that term-oh by the way has a beautiful home and you feel comfortable in it). I will shop at Reitman's and I do like Tango but it is expensive. For nice clothes I love Josef Ripkopf. I might be spelling his name wrong but anything I buy from his make, looks good, good quality and hides all the worngs on my body(OH let me count the ways).

4. What was the last clothing you purchased?

You know I am trying to remember? It was last August I think. I was out of some fall/winter clothes and I had not been major clothes shopping since 2004 so I did splurge. I think it was sandals. The one thing I do not skimp on are shoes...I buy expensive and not expensive, they look gorgeous but they were created by the Marquis De Sade, I buy expensive, nice looking but work with my feet. I can walk in them for ever and not get blisters. No they do not look my great grand mother would wear them with knee high stockings that have fallen down, but they actually look good and will last!

5. What do you prefer in your home: candles or flowers?

Oh my this is a toughy! I love both! I have to choose? Flowers are gifts from heaven and are so beautiful especially when your loved one buys them for you just because he loves you. The smell is wonderful and can fill up a room(unless you are allergic then out they go). Candles give a calming effect and can also give a beautiful aroma and they last a long time although I would never light 30 candles before I get down and dirty with my hubby. Who wants to waste time on lighting 5,000 candles when all you want to do is mambo horizonto. Sorry I was thinking of the soaps. They get all hot and bothered and then you see all these candles lit. I just think to myself, they are really getting into each other and then they say, "Oh wait! Let's light up all these 300 candles and place them precariously by the bedside so when we are going at it, our foot can kick one onto the bed and we can die in flames!" Ok I made my decision...flowers.

S, T and W

http://365cards.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-26-abcs-of-crafting-stw.html for S(stitching), T (toile) and W (White)

I made the cards for this week(well I cheated on Monday and combined it with Tuesday. Of course, being a bit of a smart ass I thought I would attempt the last bit of letters in the alphabet too:) I think feeble, just squeek by are words to use but, hey, I had to try. I used this really nice shiny type of white paper and I used my cuddelbug for the background hoping to achieve the toile look (I have very little pattern paper..I know what The?). I sponged it blue so the bits that comes out look blue for that troile effect. I used my art nouveau stamp and stamped it on the same cardstock(white) and then I did some faux stitching since I can not stitch at all for real. Now for "U" I tried to get the umbrian look with alcohol inks on the paper used for backgound. The stamped image is done in lapis lazuli embossing powder and there is a type of blue colour that starts with the letter "U" (I looked through the dictionary that's how I know, but, of course, I did not mark it down and now I can not find the word:) For "V" I used the velvet ribbon. "X" is for...ready...Xantic or Xanthous which means a pale yellow hue (the Hair, the hair). "Y" is for yellow in her hair and I used butterscotch alcohol ink too for that paper background and "Z" is for zig zag for my amazing faux stitch look(yeah right). Ok there ya have it. Have a great weekend everyone.

P, Q, and R

http://365cards.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-25-abcs-of-crafting-pqr.html -P, Q, R

So for 365 Day Cards we were to use P-Polka Dots, Q-Quilting and R-Red. I made this rather quickly as I had a busy day going to every store...nope not fun shopping but grocery shopping...ughhhh-I hate grocery shopping. Anyhoo, I thought let's do a whole card with different shades of red. I used the cuddle bug on the basic red and the shimmery red cardstock(all extra pieces) for the polka dots. I added the stamped image of the oak leaf that was coloured with the tombow markers and it is placed on with pop up dots. I finished it off with gold stickers for the borders, happy Birthday word and little gold dots. I also used my gold pen to try to create a look of quilting...and sewing. I never sew! In fact, it is one of my worst things to even attempt to try to do(singing is another). I hope the quilt effect is there. Have a great evening and day tomorrow! I shall be back with another card for tomorrow!